Dr. You’re Fat

Went to my yearly “Well Woman” appointment today.  There is a new nurse practitioner, I do not like change when it comes to my doctors.  I’m fine with other stuff, but I hate having to replay my history with a new person.  I have a chart for fucks sake.  Look at it.

This NP wanted to know all about “what went wrong” with me.  Why am I soooooo fat.  It was really annoying.  This is why I dislike going to doctors.  They want to tell you that you have a problem, then refer you to someone else.  Then you would have to tell this new person all about it.

I was very uncomfortable and unhappy with this new NP.  I have a mirror, I know I’m overweight.  I weighed myself this morning, but when they weighed me, it read a difference of 15+ pounds.  I weighed myself after my appointment, and it was a 5+ difference from this morning.  This seemed more likely, considering my water consumption and eating from today.

You’re not going to fix me.  Her clinical words are just discouraging.  I don’t need her to hold my hand, but you’re seriously going to try and fix my problems or figure me out in a mere 15 minutes?  There is no breakthrough to be had in a doctors office for me.

What’s to be known, what’s my problem?  Its very simple at its essence.  I have an addiction to food and have be known to emotionally eat.  I have been keeping the emotional eating at bay, and the food addiction is still there, but I substituted all the fast food for healthy foods.   This is spurned by my family mostly, not feeling safe or loved, I turned to food.

I’ve been stronger this month than I have been all year.  I’m working out hard, and watching what I eat.  Although this is a hard month to be on a diet, two words: Peppermint Bark.  Serious weakness.  I think all my working out has kept me even.  Luckily the season is pretty much over.

Time to go workout.